I Saved My Breath to Survive

maryrburrell
Nov 4
2 min read

I stayed silent just to keep breathing. Today, my words carry purpose.

When you’re fighting for your life, you speak in survival.You write in whispers.You breathe between words and sometimes between syllables.

Talking was hard and some days, impossible.I’d pause mid-word just to catch air, or stay quiet to save what little I had.I had to choose them carefully, like spending the last coins of breath!

Back then, breathing took all my focus, so I spoke in pieces.Short. Choppy. Breath by breath.

You can hear it in our voices, the fear, the weariness, the survival mode that doesn’t just disappear when things get better.

My body spent years protecting itself; I can’t expect it to bounce back overnight.

The nervous system remembers.The heart remembers.Even the way we form words is remembered.

I didn’t expect it, but I noticed, I still write like I spoke back then: short and careful, saving breath even on paper.

But here’s the beautiful part: she doesn’t have to lead anymore.She fought the battle.Now I get to speak and write from the part of me that lived.

These days, my words don’t sound like survival.They sound like hope.They come from a place that finally believes in tomorrow.

That old voice still whispers now and then, reminding me where I came from.But the new one?She’s writing the rest of the story.

If your words come out short and quiet, don’t worry.

That’s survival talking.You’re not broken my friend, you’re brave.Your small sentences are proof of strength.

They whisper, “I’m still here.”They whisper, “I’m doing my best.”

Don’t hurry to fix it.That voice carried you through the dark.And when you’re ready, let your words take up more space again.

My Practice Now

When I notice it, I breathe in as deep as I can and remember how far I’ve come.Then I add one more line, even if it’s small.That one extra sentence turns pain into progress.

Healing isn’t only about the body; it’s about letting your voice come back, too.Let it sound messy, loud, joyful, unsure, whatever alive feels like for you.

If you’re still finding your words, don’t rush.They’ll come when your heart’s ready.And when they do, they’ll carry hope, not just history.