Why Healthcare Feels So Cold — A Patient’s Perspective
- maryrburrell
- Nov 27, 2025
- 2 min read
How a Century-Old Mindset Still Shapes the Way Patients Are Seen and Heard
I’ve been thinking a lot about why the doctor–patient relationship can feel so distant.And when you peel back the layers, it goes way back — more than a hundred years.
Where This All Started
Around 1910, the Flexner Report reshaped medical training across the U.S.It pushed a strict “science first, emotions last” model.
By the 1920s–1950s, that mindset had become the blueprint. Doctors were taught to:
don’t get too close
don’t show emotion
keep a wall up
stay “professional” at all times
And generation after generation learned the same thing.
Even today, many doctors were trained by people who still believe emotions “get in the way.” And as patients? We feel that. Deeply.
What That Looks Like on Our Side
That whole era created a medical culture where the head mattered more than the heart.And sometimes it comes across robotic — less human and completely disconnected.
But patients don’t walk in carrying just symptoms.We walk in with fear, confusion, trauma, memories, and hope all mixed together.
So when a doctor keeps their emotional guard up, patients start to feel:
unseen
unimportant
unwelcome to ask questions
unsafe
like a number, not a person
And that’s exactly why trusting doctors feels so hard.
Where Connection Has Shown Up in My Life
My relationships with my doctors are personal.
I know how many kids they have.I know if they’re married.I know what they do for fun.
That connection didn’t happen by accident — it happened because someone finally looked up from the chart and treated me like a human being.
That’s what patients hold on to.That’s what earns trust.
Where Real Change Has to Start
If we want real change — the kind patients can actually feel — doctors have to help lead it.
For years, the system taught them to stay distant.That wasn’t a patient choice. That was the rulebook they were given.
So if healthcare is ever going to shift toward connection, trust, and true partnership, doctors have to be part of that movement.
They helped build the culture.They’re the ones who can help rebuild it.
Patients are ready.We’ve been ready.But we can’t change a system we don’t control.
Real change starts when doctors step forward and say,“This old way isn’t working anymore — we can do better.”
What Patients Actually Need
We’re not asking for friendship.We’re not asking for crossed boundaries.
We’re just asking for connection.
a little eye contact
a warm tone
a simple, “How are you holding up?”
Those small things build trust — in regular care and in clinical trials.
And trust changes everything.
The Hopeful Part
There are doctors shifting the culture.You can feel it the minute they walk into the room — safer, calmer, more human.
That’s the direction healthcare needs to go.
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